You Are Here: home » funny stories » marriage jokes

Marriage Jokes

When a man and a woman get together the outcome can be very funny, whether they are married or not. We currently have 150 humorous stories about men and women. A description of each is provided after the link.

Animals Stories
BarRoom Stories
Blondes Stories
Doctors Stories
Kids Stories
Marriage Stories
People Stories
Politics Stories
Religious Stories
Sports Stories

Click On A Link Below To Read Our Marriage Jokes
  1. The Good Samaritan - Be careful what you discard. It may be more than you can afford to lose!
  2. Well, What Would You Do? - A funny conversation between a male and female statue.
  3. Marriage Tidbits - Many humorous lines about a man and his wife or a woman and her husband.
  4. The Pickle Slicer - A funny story about a man who suffers the consequences of putting his manhood in a pickle slicer.
  5. Marooned Too Long - When a man is stranded on a deserted island, what does he really want?
  6. Frustrated At Home - A humorous story about what a wife has to go through to get those household problems fixed.
  7. A Snails Pace - The excuses that some husbands come up with as to why they are late can be very funny.
  8. Toilet Paper Works Wonders - A funny story about a new use for toilet paper.
  9. One Shot Or Two - A humorous anecdote about an angry gun store clerk who wants a customer to shoot both his wife and his wife's lover.
  10. You're Never Too Old - I guess after fifty years, a husband and wife can still be hot for each other.
  11. Feel Like A Woman - A humorous story about a woman knowing that the plane she is on is doomed to crash wants a man to make her feel like a woman one last time.
  12. Married Life - Humorous tidbits about what a wife has to say about her husband and what a husband has to say about his wife.
  13. A Bad Day - A funny story about a man who gets pulled over by a policeman for speeding and a wife who can't keep her mouth shut.
  14. Oral Remedy - Who says sex isn't healthy for you? Well, this humorous story about sex may just kill you!
  15. Man's Expectations Of A Wife - Read about what every man expects out of his wife and what he really gets!
  16. Woman's Expectations Of A Husband - Read about what every woman expects out of her husband and what she really gets!
  17. Some Wedding - A humorous story about a man being pulled over for speeding.
  18. A Rushed Marriage - An amusing story about a man and a woman who marry first and then learn about each other later.
  19. Some Legacy - How would you like to be remembered once you're gone? Here is an amusing story about how a women wants her husband to be remembered!
  20. Low On Cash - When families need cash, desperate people do desperate things. This is a funny take on one of those desperate acts!
  21. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? - If you have seen the TV show, you should enjoy this amusing take on it!
  22. New Periodic Elements - Two proposed additions to the periodic table of elements (from chemistry class), one called Man and the other called Woman.
  23. Get Rich Quick - A funny story about a young woman who marries a rich old man for money but ends up getting more than she bargained for.
  24. Four Letter Words - Here are some 4-letter words that will shed a new light on a honeymoon night.
  25. Growth Spurt - An amusing story about a husband who is afflicted with a problem where his penis keeps growing and what his wife believes to be the cure.
  26. Thoughts On Men and Women - An amusing list of differences between men and women on such issues as nicknames, eating out, bathrooms, arguments, marriage, offsprings, and more!
  27. How Married Men See Things - A list of humorous sayings on how married men see things.
  28. Just An Email Note - This goes to show that you should make sure you email your message to the right person. It could be a matter of life or death.
  29. Fireman - Read an amusing tale of how a fireman brings his work home.
  30. The Memory Is The First Thing To Go - Read an amusing story about an elderly couple who forget the simple things in life.
  31. The Grounded Pilot - When the air traffic on the ground gets pretty congested, the conversation between an air traffic controller and a pilot can be quite amusing.
  32. Busted - A funny story about a man who gets busted by his wife upon returning home from his fishing trip.
  33. Four Fathers - If the number of children your wife is expecting is based on your occupation, how may kids would you have? Click here to find out.
  34. How To Change Your Oil - An amusing story about the differences between how a woman would change her car's oil and how a man would.
  35. The Genie and The Ex-Wife - An amusing tale about a genie who grants a husband only half of what his ex-wife gets.
  36. A Dastardly Deal - A fouled up, but amusing, attempt by a man to try and kill and his wife.
  37. ATM - A selection of amusing differences between how a woman and a man use a drive-through banking machine.
  38. Who's Uncle Fred - An amusing story about a man who calls home only to find out that his wife is not alone.
  39. True Love - When a man who has been in prison for 25 years gets out, what is the first thing he looks for. Click here to find out!
  40. I Can't Tell A Lie - A funny story about a man who tells his wife the truth about his affair and she doesn't believe him.
  41. Who Enjoys It More? - An amusing battle between the sexes on who enjoys sex more.
  42. 10 Dollars is 10 Dollars! - An amusing story about a thrifty wife and an airplane ride.
  43. If Women Ruled The World - Have you ever wondered what would happen if women ruled the world. Well click here to read some facts.
  44. The Proxy Father - An amusing story about a family awaiting a proxy father sent by the English government
  45. You're Never Too Old - A story about an elderly woman who lost her husband during sex.
  46. Hot and Cold Running Sex - A humorous story about an elderly man who experiences temperature changes every time he has sex with his wife.
  47. Finding That One Special Girl - Finding that one special girl to marry is difficult when it requires the approval of both parents. Click here to read one such funny occurrence.
  48. Female Flyers - A humorous story about an all women flight crew.
  49. Lessons From a Bull - When a wife compares her husbands bedroom antics against that of a bull the outcome can be quite amusing.
  50. New Fashion - Is it really in fashion for a married man to wear an earring or is it something else? Click here to find out!
  51. Jealousy - An amusing tale about a wife who tries to get her husband jealous only to have it backfire on her.
  52. Hubby Abuse - When your wife asks you if you don't want to see her for a while, take it seriously!
  53. More Jokes About Men and Women - Humorous short stories about women written by men and of men written by women.
  54. Newlywed Squabbles - A funny story about a husband and wife squabbling about the number of kids they are going to have.
  55. And God Created Woman... - A funny story about when God created woman.
  56. A Stormy Cruise - An amusing story about a man and his wife on a cruise.
  57. The Diagnosis - A funny anecdote about a man who seeks a medical name for his physical condition.
  58. Social Security - A humorous story about how an elderly man had to prove his age to get social security.
  59. What Men Won't Do For Fishing - A funny anecdote about what four men have to give up in order to go fishing.
  60. Marriage Trivia - Here is some humorous marriage trivia to ponder.
  61. The Curse - Read a funny anecdote about a man who goes to a Wizard to have a curse removed.
  62. The Funny Side of Marriage - Humorous one-liners about marriage.
  63. Memories - A funny story about a husband reminiscing about the time he got married.
  64. Swatting Flies - A funny story about how a husband, swatting flies, can tell their sex.
  65. Instruction Book on Women - Click here to find out how women really click.
  66. The Train Ride - A humorous story about an enstranged man and woman who end up in the same sleeping compartment on a train.
  67. A Woman's Perfect Breakfast - Here is a breakfast made especially for a woman.
  68. High Expectations - Read about a Husband Shopping Center where a woman could go to choose from among many men for her husband.
  69. Sex - Read a humorous story about three men, an Italian, a Frenchman, and an old Jewish man who talk about their sex life.
  70. Divorced Barbie Doll - See why the Divorced Barbie Doll is much more expensive than all of the other Barbie Dolls.
  71. Understanding Women - A humorous story about how one man copes with his wife.
  72. Sex Education - A study was performed to determine the most come intercourse position between a married man and women. The outcome of this study is very humorous.
  73. Male Face - A funny study that showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
  74. The Perfect Man - Read what the perfect man is called and why he is called it.
  75. Male Learning Curve - Read how a man's taste towards women changes between the ages of 14 and 40.
  76. The Miracle of Toilet Paper - Read how toiler paper can change a woman's life, even a man's life.
  77. Official Male Sensitivity Test - Here you can take the 10 question test to see how sensitive men really are.
  78. The Loving and Caring Husband -Read a funny story about how a man's attitude towards his wife can change after sex.
  79. Four Secrets to a Man's Happy Life - Have you ever wondered what it would take to make a man happy. Well, click here and find out..
  80. Painless Birth - If men were to suffer the pains of giving birth it could prove to be quite deadly, or could it?
  81. Mathematical Proof That All Women are Evil - If you have ever wondered if women are actually evil. Well, here is mathematical proof of it!!
  82. Shot to the Heart - A tale about an elderly woman who tries to join her husband who recently had passed away.
  83. Up to His Shoes - It is not good to play games while driving especially when it involves nudity.
  84. Male and Female Orgasm- Here you can actually see the difference between the male and female orgasm.
  85. Spice Up Your Marriage- A funny story about how an elderly man spices up his sex life. 
  86. Diary of a Snow Shoveler- A humorous story about the month long adventures of a snow shoveler. 
  87. How To Impress a Woman- A funny story about how to impress a woman, and a man for that matter.
  88. A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words- A story about a Pharmacists who refuses to sell Cyanide to a customer until he sees the picture.
  89. The Point System- A funny merit/demerit guide that men can use to understand the rules when dealing with women.
  90. Short Stories About Men and Women- Six short but humorous stories about men and women, most from a woman's perspective.
  91. Simple Arithmetic- Simple mathematics that one can use in real life when dealing with marriage or people.
  92. Why Dogs Are Better Than Wives - A humorous comparison between man's best friend and wives in general.
  93. Sunday Morning Sex - Maybe it is not a good idea for elderly couples to make love on Sunday morning.  Click here to find out why.
  94. Types of Sex - Humorous takes on four different types of sex.
  95. Never Try To Outsmart A Woman - A funny story about a man who says he is going fishing for the weekend with his boss. But is he really?
  96. The Geography of a Woman & Man - A humorous perception of a woman's and man's age based on countries around the world.
  97. A Little Q&A - A group of one-liners centered around men and women.
  98. Las Vegas - A humorous story about a woman leaving her husband to make money for what she has been doing for free.
  99. The Marriage Test - A funny story about a test given to a man by his future in-laws to test his loyalty to their daughter and how he faired.
  100. Women- Want to know what a woman's favorite breakfast is? Or her perfect revenge is? or just wanted to understand women! Click here.
  101. Women Are So Clever!!!- A humorous story about a man who wanted to take it all with him when he died.
  102. Who Should Make The Coffee- A funny story about who should make the coffee in the morning, the Husband or the Wife and where the found the answer from.
  103. The Insatiable Genie- An amusing story about a woman golfer whose sliced ball hits a house window and breaks an antique lamp only to have a genie to appear at the front door.
  104. Battle of the Sexes- Read how men and women differ when it comes to future, success, marriage, eating out, arguments, and more!
  105. Being Assertive- Read a funny story about a man whose newly found assertiveness towards his wife doesn't pay off.
  106. 60 Years and a Prayer- An amusing story about how one woman kept track of how many times during her 60-year marriage she would get angry with her husband.
  107. Husband Shopping Center- A funny story about a shopping center where women can go to get a husband.
  108. Four Parts to Marriage- Four funny stories about how a wife gets back at her husband. I guess revenge is sweet!
  109. Mistaken Identity?- A humorous story about a married man who ran out of excuses about his nightly activities.
  110. Her Diary/His Diary- A passage in a woman's diary is quite different from a passage in a man's diary about the same event.
  111. The Lonely Little Brain Cell- Find out what happens when you put a women's brain cell in the head of a man.
  112. Cascading Events- Who said green snakes aren't harmful? Click here to see what damage one green snake caused.
  113. University of Missouri Study- Humorous results from a study at the University of Missouri about the male features that are attractive to women depending on their menstrual cycle.
  114. Three Affairs to Remember- Three short, humorous, stories about a man cheating on his wife.
  115. Merry Christmas- Read about a Christmas divorce that brings people together.
  116. The Lottery Ticket- A funny story about a women who tells her husband that the expensive gifts she keeps bringing home is the result of lottery winnings.
  117. The Real Man Test- This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of these questions. However, women will also benefit by reviewing them, so that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.
  118. Red Skeleton's Tips For a Happy Marriage- Need tips on a happy marriage from one of the funniest comedians of our time. Click here.
  119. A True Player- A funny story about how one man gets the best of his friend's wife at no cost to him.
  120. A Man, His Wife and a Cop- A humorous story about a man who gets pulled over by a cop only to have his wife make the cop's case for him.
  121. Marriage Funnies- A funny collection of marriage one-liners.
  122. A Deadly Game Of Poker - When an elderly man dies while playing poker, read how this incident is explained to the dead man's wife. 
  123. Revenge of the Husbands - An amusing story about the old double standard between men and women.
  124. NewlyWeds - An amusing story about how a newlywed couple communicates when it comes to sex.
  125. Men Are Men and Women Are Women - A funny story about how a single story can be explained totally different when told by a man and told by a woman.
  126. Multiple Marriages - An amusing story about a dress shop clerk who gives a hard time to a women who wants to buy a wedding dress suitable for an innocent bride after being married a few times.
  127. Thoughful Husband - A humorous story about a husband who tells his wife a long, drawn out tale about saving a poor, lost, and dirty girl only after she catches him in bed with this girl.
  128. Fifty Years Ago - A funny story about an elderly couple who make love at the first place they did some fifty years ago.
  129. What About Bob - An amusing story about a man whose wife takes him out to a strip joint only to run into people who seem to know him.
  130. One Climax - Read an amusing story about a Jewish woman whose older husband could not make her climax.
  131. Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries? - Read a funny story about a man who does remember one anniversary.
  132. Nice Comeback - Read a funny comeback from a husband whose wife just insulted his manhood.
  133. Viagra - A humorous story about an adult man who sell his elderly father one Viagra only to be paid more than he asked for.
  134. Bobbit Family Update - Read a funny story about Lorena Bobbitt's sister, Louella, who is arrested for performing the same act on her husband that Lorena did many years before.
  135. What a Word! - A humorous story about how one woman gets her revenge when it is time for her husband to reach the Pearly Gates.
  136. Marriage Tibits - Read a whole group of short, funny, stories about marriage.
  137. Sensitive Men in Retirement - Read a humorous story about how one retired man's sensitivity towards his wife got him in a whole lot of trouble.
  138. Short Takes - Read some short takes on marriage.
  139. Priceless - A funny story about a man who comes home drunk, pukes, and falls over, breaking a coffee table and all is excused by his wife.
  140. Fart Football - A humorous story about any elderly couple who play fart football while in bed.
  141. Inheritance - A funny story about a man about to inherit a fortune from his sick elderly father looks for a bride to share it with.
  142. Ten Husbands - A comical story about a women, getting married for the 11th time, claims to her new husband that she still is a virgin.
  143. Poor Men - More funny one-liners about men, obviously written by a woman.
  144. Do You Know How Tough it is Being a Man? - A humorous story of why men cannot win no matter what they do.
  145. He Said/She Said - Funny one-liners on how women respond to men.
  146. Efficiency Expert - A humorous story about an Efficiency Expert who made the mistake of telling his wife how to make breakfast more efficiently.
  147. Mixed Marriage - A funny story about a Russian girl, married to an Englishman, who can't speak English but is able to communicate with the butcher.
  148. The Cold Skunk - A humorous story about a couple upon driving home found a cold skunk on the road and decided to warm it up by bringing it into their car.
  149. A Couple of Stories - Two humorous stories about marriage.


Comment or Share Your Own One Liner




    Get a funny joke in your email every week. FREE!
     
    | privacy