You Are Here: home » one liners

One Liners

Often jokes are sent my way that are short and sweet. The benefit of this is that I can read more of them, in my spare time of course.

So try out our 264 categories of one-liners representing well over 2500 jokes. A description of each category is provided after the link.

Click On A Link Below To Read Our Funny One Liners

  1. Wife Jokes - These are jokes you would expect a husband to say about his wife.
  2. Men Jokes - Women here's your revenge.... A collection of jokes about men.
  3. Why Ask Why? - Have you ever wondered why things are the way they are? Well, wonder no longer!
  4. Jokes From A Female Perspective - Just as the title says... these are jokes written by a women about men.
  5. Jokes From A Male Perspective - In response to the jokes in the previous category, these jokes were written about women, by men.
  6. You May Be An Engineer If... - If any of these criteria fits you, then you must be an engineer also!
  7. Sorority Girl Jokes - Do you know any Sorority girls? Then you can probably relate to some of these jokes!
  8. Actual Newspaper Headlines - These are actual headlines found in newspapers.
  9. Rules For Diet - Would you like to cheat a little on your diet? Well, just follow the rules on this page.
  10. Miscellaneous One-Liners - Here are one-liners that just don't fit in our other categories.
  11. You Might Be Working For A Defense Contractor If... - Have you ever wondered what it would be like to work for a defense contractor? Well, if you meet one or more of the criteria listed here you may very well be working for one!
  12. Questions To Ponder - Funny one-liners about the questions one would ponder.
  13. Top 45 Oxymorons - Here you will find the top 45 oxymorons. An oxymoron is a combination of two words that are completely opposite in meaning. You've probably heard many of these before but didn't realize that they fall within this category.
  14. Factural Trivia: Questions & Answers - Here are many factual questions and answers. You may find some of these quite amusing.
  15. Life Is Easy As A Man - Why do men have it so much easier than women? Well, click here and find out!
  16. More Jokes About Men - Here are more one-liners about men!
  17. Trivia About Sex - Enjoy our one liners about sex.
  18. Before and After You Fall In Love - Want to know what life is like before and after you get married? Just read these one liners!
  19. A Prayer For Senility - Have you ever wondered what life is like when your older? Read these and find out!
  20. What A Difference 30 Years Makes - Click here to read funny one liners about what life was like in 1970 and then again 30 years later in the year 2000!
  21. Old is When.... - Want to know just how old you are really getting? Click here and find out!
  22. A List of Possible Slogans at National Condom Week - It would pretty hard to come up with a slogan to support the use of condoms without some humor involved.
  23. Quick One Liners - An assortment of funny one liners to confuse and enlighten.
  24. Bumper Stickers - An assortment of bumper stickers that will surely amuse you!
  25. Responses To Pickup Lines - An assortment of humorous responses that a man can expect while attempting to pick up a woman.
  26. UPS Employee Handbook - An assortment of funny definitions of subjects out of a UPS Employee Handbook like sick days, surgery, restrooms, pay checks, death, and more!
  27. Women's Favorite Men's Jokes - A collection of comical jokes about men, selected as favorites among women.
  28. More One Liners - A variety of funny one liners.
  29. Conversions Made Easy - For those who thought the hardest part of Physics 101 was the constant conversion from MKS or CGS units to English units, here are some useful English system conversions.
  30. Performance Appraisal - Amusing performance appraisal terms and their real meanings.
  31. Cubicle Wisdom - An assortment of words (or lines) of wisdom that can help you in the workplace.
  32. I Really Need To Find a Job - Amusing one-liners about the various jobs that one can find.
  33. For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously - A number of funny one-liners meant to losen up those who take life too seriously.
  34. Trivia - More humorous trivia.
  35. Think You Know Everything? - Here are some more funny one-liners that you probably haven't thought about before.
  36. Male Language Patterns - Read some amusing female interpretations of male sayings.
  37. Confucious Say.. - An assortment of sayings from that great Chinese Philosopher "Confucious".
  38. More Jokes About Men - Here is a selection of more funny jokes about men. Maybe some of you women can relate to these.
  39. Women - Here are things you should know about women.
  40. Contemporary Latin Phrases - Have you ever heard someone speak latin and didn't know what it meant? Well, here are funny interpretations of some latin phrases.
  41. More Bumper Stickers - An assortment of funny bumper stickers that will surely make you laugh.
  42. New State Slogans - A humorous slogan for each of our states.
  43. The Art of Dead Horse Riding - The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." However, in modern government, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed.
  44. How to Tell if You Are Trailer Trash - Have you ever wondered if you fell within the definition of trailer trash. Well if you can relate to any of these tell-taled signs you just might be.
  45. Gentleman's Quiz - Take this test of 10 questions and see how you rank as a gentleman.
  46. Brain Teasers - Read twelve brain teasers that will surely make you think.
  47. Why Computers Are Better Than Women - Read 43 reasons why men may choose a computer over a woman.
  48. Men Are Like.. - Read what men are like from a woman's perspective.
  49. Popourri - Some more one liners.
  50. Best Excuses - Read the best excuses when you are caught sleeping at work.
  51. My Wife, God Bless Her - Read a number of comical comments made by a man about his wife.
  52. A Variety of One-Liners - More one liners that will surely make you laugh.
  53. Level of Insanity - Read a number of different ways to drive people crazy.
  54. Things I Have Learned - Over the years you learn many things. Here are just a few of them.
  55. Alcohol Warnings - Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Beer Brewers have accepted these FDA's suggested warning labels to place on beer bottles and cans.
  56. Company (Anti) Motivational Postals - Read some amusing company lines that will surely motivate employees.
  57. The Taliban TV Guide - Have you ever wondered what the Taliban watches on TV. Well, click here for a weekly TV guide.
  58. Have You Ever Wondered - Have you ever wondered about why some things are the way they are. Click here to find the answers.
  59. Actual Hospital Chart Writings - Read some funny but actual writings put on hospital charts by nurses and doctors.
  60. Women Pick-Up Lines - Here are some amusing responses by women to pick up lines made by men.
  61. Stories About Idiots - Read funny instances where idiots are spotted in different situations.
  62. Military Words of Wisdom - Here are some words of wisdom spoken by military personnel.
  63. Some Old Some New Triva - Here are some one liners that you may or may not have heard.
  64. Good Pilot Philosophies - Read some funny philosophies about airplanes and the men and women who fly them.
  65. Phylosophy of Life - Read some funny philosophies about life.
  66. Some New Some Old - Here are some one-liners that you may or may not have heard.
  67. Sports Trivia - Here are some humorous sports trivia from famous people.
  68. Rules of Life - Sometimes we just need to remember WHAT the Rules of Life really are....
  69. He Said... She Said.. - Here are some humorous responses made by women to men's comments.
  70. Why Ask Why? - Questions humorously answered about men from a women's perspective.
  71. Benefits of Being a Woman - Read some amusing benefits of being a woman.
  72. Actual Church Newsletter Clippings - Read actual clippings from Church newsletters.
  73. Stupid Product Labels - In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
  74. Southern Language - Read 40 things never said by southerners.
  75. Reasons Why Men Should Be Proud of Themselves - Well this is pretty self explanatory!
  76. Messages on Church Signs - Read actual messages that have been seen on Church signs!
  77. Geography of a Woman and a Man - Read humorous interpretations of a woman and a man between the ages of 15 and 70 in terms of geography.
  78. Old Age Signs - Read three sets of signs; Old age fun, menopause, and simply, just signs of old age.
  79. Adult Learning Center - Learn about 13 different, but humorous, classes that an adult can take.
  80. Martha Stewart's Vs. The Real Woman's Way - This is pretty self-explanatory.
  81. Rules for Women - Read about that one rule forÂu00a0woman.
  82. Why Did The Chickens Cross The Road - Find the answers to that age old question as told by many famous people.
  83. Just When You Thought You Knew Everything - More funny trivia to ponder and laugh over.
  84. Austin Power Pickup Lines - If you have every seen an Austin Powers movie you may recognize some of these pick up lines.
  85. Science Test Papers - Some true, but funny, answers to science tests taken by both grade school and college students
  86. What Women Think About Men - More funny one-liners about men that were obviously written by women.
  87. Pregnancy Q&A - Read some amusing answers to some simple questions about pregnancy
  88. Management Learning - Here are some lessons learned from a management perspective.
  89. Sounds Dirty - Read ten things that can happen in a law firm, in an office, and playing golf that sound dirty but are not.
  90. Bumper Stickers - Read some humorous bumper stickers.
  91. Bumper Stickers For Ladies - Read some more humorous bumper stickers but only for ladies.
  92. Random Thoughts - Read some more thoughts to ponder.
  93. Christian Bumper Stickers - Read some humorous religious bumper stickers.
  94. Religious Thoughts - Read some true but funny religious thoughts.
  95. Xmas Groans - Read some funny jokes about Christmas.
  96. Things You Really Needed to Know - Read some more true but funny trivia.
  97. Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery - If you could listen during surgery here are things you definetly would not want to hear.
  98. Life, If You Live Long Enough.... - More amusing one-liners about getting old.
  99. Great and Not So Great Truths - Humorous truths about life as learned by children and adults and truths about getting old.
  100. Only In America - Where else but in America can you find things a little backwards.
  101. Thirty-one Good Things To Know (or Are They?) - Here are thirty one little known facts that will get you thinking.
  102. Famous Quotes - Here a some humorous quotes that you may or may not have heard before.
  103. Old Fogies - Read the different meanings that words and phrases have in 1972 as compared to 2002.
  104. Newspaper Headlines in the Year 2035 - An amusing interpretation of what the world would be like in the year 2035 based on current events.
  105. Payback Time - A group of one liners written about men by women as payback for all the women/wife jokes.
  106. More Things I've Learned - Throughout life one has learned many things. These are only a few.
  107. Iraqi One Liners - A series of one liners about Iraq.
  108. Quick One Liners - Humorous one liners about people from all walks of life. These one liners are not meant to offend anyone and we apologize in advance if they do.
  109. Clever Signs - Funny signs from places all around the country.
  110. 21 More One liners - More humorous one liners.
  111. 25 Things You Should Have Learned Already - More humorous one liners.
  112. Women's Training Courses - And for those of you who are sick of the man-bashing jokes, it's her turn now
  113. Why Men Are So Happy - If you ever wondered why men or so happy click here
  114. More Weird Facts - More humorous trivia.
  115. Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America - Humorous one liners about life in general.
  116. Home Remedies - Here are humorous takes on some of the simplest home remedies.
  117. Aging Barbies - At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her aging gracefully.
  118. New Computer Viruses - You gotta watch our for these new computer viruses.
  119. Ladies Vs. Real Women - You gotta watch our for these new computer viruses.
  120. Pointed Questions - More humorous questions to ponder.
  121. Situations Hallmark Doesn't Cover - Here are some halarious takes on what some Hallmark cards could say.
  122. How True.... - Funny trivia that we can all relate too.
  123. Some New, Some Old, All Good - More humorous trivia.
  124. Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers - Read some amusing things a man can do in Wal-Mart while waiting for his wife to finish shopping.
  125. Military Words of Wisdom - Don't know if these are true or not but some are so stupid that they just might be true.
  126. Lessons Learned From Hurricane Isabel - These will really put things in perspective when it comes to a hurricane.
  127. You Know It's Time To Retire When.. - These are pretty self explanatory.
  128. How To Poop At Work - For those who hate pooping at work, here is a Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.
  129. Things I Have Learned About Texas - If you have ever lived in Texas you probably can relate to some of these.
  130. Too Tall Puns - More humorous puns.
  131. Beer Philosophies - Want to know how some people feel about beer? Click here and read some humorous reponses.
  132. Silly One Liners - More funny one liners.
  133. Top Ten Sports Comments - Read the top ten comments made by sports commentators that they would like to take back.
  134. You Might Belong To A Redneck Church If... - Read some humorous facts on how you know you are in a redneck church.
  135. Axioms For Today - More humorous things one has learned over the years.
  136. Passing Thoughts - As one gets older things appear a little different. Click here to read some of them.
  137. Things You Can Only Say At Thanksgiving - This is pretty self-explanatory.
  138. Stocks To Watch In 2004 - Humorous names of companies after they have merged together.
  139. Alcohol Warning Labels - Humorous labels placed on alcohol containers as suggested by the FDA.
  140. 10 Ways That Handguns Are Better Than A Woman - This is pretty self-explanatory.
  141. Men Strike Back - Short but funny sayings about women as told by men. Maybe some of you can relate to these.
  142. You Know You Are Living In the 21st Century When - A collection of 18 things that will tell you that you live in the 21st century.
  143. Wisdom From The West - Three short parables with humorous management lessons.
  144. Important Questions - Read some humorous questions that most of you probably have already pondered at one time or another.
  145. Prison or Work? - A funny story comparing the life behind bars to the life at work.
  146. What is Marriage? - A number of funny one-liners defining what marriage really is.
  147. Some Old, Some New - A number of humorous one-liners that you may or may not have already heard.
  148. Engineers Exam - Read a humorous exam created by the University of North Carolina State Engineering Department for northerners who think they know all about the south.
  149. Assorted One Liners - Read a number of funny one liners, some of which you may or may not have seen already.
  150. Dementia Test - For those of you getting old and want to test out your mind click here and take our Demential Test.
  151. Will Rogers Sayings - Humorous sayings from the infamous Will Rogers.
  152. You Know You're Living In 2004 When - If you have ever wandered what year it is, click here for some ideas.
  153. Bill Clinton Legacies - Some humorous facts about Bill Clinton and his presidency.
  154. Women's T-Shirts - Here are actual slogans found on women's t-shirts.
  155. More Chicken Jokes- Here are more funny reasons why the chicken crossed the road from a famous person perspective.
  156. Famous Sex Quotes- Here are some actual quotes by famous people on the subject of sex.
  157. 11 Thoughts For the Day- Read some humorous facts that you can ponder.
  158. More One Liners- Read some more funny one liners that you may or may not have heard before.
  159. Words to Live By- Here are some phrases that some of you may identify with.
  160. Short But Sweet- Here are some funny one-liners, short but sweet!
  161. Training Courses Available To Men- Read about courses only available to men.
  162. 13 Reasons to Smile - Thirteen more funny and maybe familar one-liners.
  163. Andy Rooney on Various Subjects - Read how Andy Rooney feels about eight different topics.
  164. Red Skelton's Tips For A Happy Marriage - This is pretty self-explanatory and pretty funny.
  165. Wallstreet Reports For the Year - It has been a crazy year for wallstreet. Read why!
  166. New Walmart Wine - Read some possible names for a new wine that Walnut is coming out with.
  167. Some Interesting Ads - Don't know how many of these ads have been actually published but they are funny never-the-less.
  168. Hurricanes and Christmas - Read the top ten reasons why the hurricane Season is like the Christmas season.
  169. Bathroom and Bar Signs - Read actual signs as found in some bathrooms and bars across America.
  170. Men - Read some funny one-liners about men from a woman's perspective.
  171. Happy Holloween - Read a few simple rules to help keep the Halloween season healthy, happy and safe.
  172. Wisdom From Grampa - Read some humorous wisdom from a older and wiser person like your Grandpop.
  173. Home Remedies - Read some funny one-liners about men from a woman's perspective.
  174. Winning 2003 News Headlines - Read some funny headliners that were found in newspapers in 2003.
  175. Chicken Soup For The Beer Drinker - Here are some thoughts from some famous people about drinking beer.
  176. Simple GET-BY Instructions - Here are some actual and funny, simple instructions written about some military hardware.
  177. World's Thinnest Books - Here is a collection of the world's thinnest books.
  178. Colonoscopies - Here are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies.
  179. Dog Peeves About Humans - Here are reasons why dogs may turn on their masters.
  180. More Signs Around the World - Read more humorous signs found around the world.
  181. For All You Lexophiles (Lovers Of Words) - Read some humorous one-liners for all you word lovers out there.
  182. Meditation - Read some humorous one-liners to meditate about.
  183. Which One - Read a humourous comparison between two books, Titantic and Bill Clinton's "My Life".
  184. This is No Bull! - Read three short and funny stories about the U.S. government in connection with illegal aliens, our Constitution, and the Ten Commandments.
  185. The Wisdom of Steve Wright - Even if you have seen these before they are worth another look. They are all supposedly from Steven Wright.
  186. Actual Child Support Agency Forms - These are all replies that Dallas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details.
  187. Georgia Jokes Plus... - Read some funny one-liners about the State of Georgia.
  188. Year 2029 - Read what it will be like in the world in another 24 years.
  189. Marriage One-Liners - Read some short but sweet jokes about marriage.
  190. Prison Vs. Work - A humorous comparison between prison and work, showing prison life better.
  191. Things to Think About - Some funny things about children to think about when you get older.
  192. Hollywood Squares - These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Click here and enjoy!
  193. About Bob Hope - Here is a little tribute to a man who DID make a difference.
  194. Funnies - Read a number of one liners that will surely make you laugh.
  195. 22 Lines to Make You Smile - Read 22 one liners that will surely put a smile on your face.
  196. What I Want in a Man - Humorous listings of what a woman wants in a man as the man gets older.
  197. Truisms - Here are some humorous words of wisdom.
  198. Brain Cramps - Here are some pretty dumb sayings from some pretty smart people.
  199. Laughs For A Day - A bunch of humorous one liners.
  200. Actual Stories as Told by Doctors - A number of humorous stories as told by doctors.
  201. Rednecks and Computers - 10 ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a computer.
  202. Employee Evaluations - Read actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee performance evaluations.
  203. Airplanes and Women - Read sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women.
  204. Maxine - Six humorous sayings from the infamous Maxine.
  205. Daily Trivia - More humorous trivia.
  206. Top Ten On-line Lies - Read the top ten lies that men say to women on the internet.
  207. The Top 16 Country Songs - Read the top 16 country western songs.
  208. Expressions for a Woman's High Stress Days - Read a number of expressions that a woman may say during a high stress day.
  209. More One Liners About Men - Read more one liners about men obviously written by women.
  210. Do We Need Better Education? - Read real notes written by parents in a Tennessee school district.
  211. Makes You Wonder... - More things to ponder.
  212. For Exercise Buffs - Is exercise really good for you? Click here to read a humorous take on exercising.
  213. Brain Teasers: Test Time - Click here to see how many of these 30 brain teasers you can get right.
  214. The Joys of Being Male - Here are 28 reasons why it is better being male than female.
  215. Microsoft vs. GM - Here are 9 reasons why you would not want your car built by Microsoft.
  216. Pissed Off - Here are 9 things that really piss me off.
  217. Why, Why, Why - Have you ever wondered why things are the way they are. Here are some of those things to ponder.
  218. To Women Everywhere From a Man That's Had Enough - Click here to find out why men are so upset about women.
  219. You Might Be From Mississippi if: Read a number of humorous reasons why you may think you are in Mississippi.
  220. Random Slogans - Read a number of funny slogans.
  221. Things to Remember When You Get Old - Here are things to remember when you get old like games and Menopause.
  222. Holiday Eating Tips - Now that the holidays are upon us here a few eating tips to get you through them.
  223. Redneck Christmas Etiquette - Read four parts that rednecks follow for proper etiquette during Christmas.
  224. Never Say to a Cop - Read twelve things you should never say to a cop when you are pulled over.
  225. Bumper Stickers We Would Like to See - Read a number of bumper stickers that you probably will never see but would like to.
  226. Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler - Read six hints that you need to know before you start traveling.
  227. Differences Between You and Your Boss - Have you ever wondered when you do something it means one thing and when your boss does the same thing it means something else. Read a few of these.
  228. Baby Boomer Lyrics - Some of the artists of the 60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate the aging baby boomers.
  229. Retirement - As we all know, when we hit retirement age we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is: where? Here are some tips.
  230. Hallmark Cards - Here are some more Hallmark cards that you will never see.
  231. Idiot Olympic Questions - Here are some classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers supplied there appropriate.
  232. Words of Wisdom - Read 22 lines of wisdom that will surely enlighten you.
  233. To My Favorite Retirees - A number of funny answers to some questions posed to retirees.
  234. Something To Offend Everyone! - A number of bad jokes that although not meant to, may offend some.
  235. How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb? - Click here to read how 12 different Religious organizations would answer that question.
  236. Rules of Texas - Here are seventeen rules that you must follow when you are in Texas.
  237. 30 Harsh Things a Woman Can Say To a Naked Man - This is pretty self-explanatory.
  238. Men Strike Back - A number of humorous jokes about women written by men.
  239. Shortest Books - Read the twenty shortest books in the World.
  240. Police Officer Quotes - Here are some amusing quotes made by Police Officers.
  241. You Might Be in the Aerospace Industry if.... - Here are some amusing ways in which you can tell your are working in the Aerospace Industry.
  242. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Here are some amusing ways in which some good things can get bad and then get really ugly.
  243. Golf's Famous Quotes - Here are a number of quotes made by some famous people about the sport of golf.
  244. The Guy's Rules - Women have rules. Now guys have rules too.
  245. More Things to Ponder - If you ever wondered about something, wonder no more!!
  246. Funnies of Life - A number of funny short jokes.
  247. More Actual Church Newsletter Clippings - Read more actual clippings from Church newsletters.
  248. Actual 911 Calls - BELIEVE it or not, These are REAL 911 Calls!
  249. Murphy's Lesser-Known Dictums - More humorous quotes and sayings.
  250. Thoughtful Quotes - Some thoughtful and humorous quotes to ponder.
  251. Famous Sayings By Ronald Reagan - This is pretty self-explanatory.
  252. Come-Backs - Read the top six come-backs of 2006.
  253. Actual Court Testimonials - These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down & now published by court reporters.
  254. Why, Why, Why - More things to ponder.
  255. What I Have Learned As I Mature - As you get older there are certain things you learn. These are only a few of them.
  256. See What 50 Years Will Do - Read the differences between events that occur today and the same events that occurred 50 years.
  257. More Funny Signs - Here are more funny signs found around the world.
  258. Puns -- Old and New - The ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development. Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest.
  259. Laws of Natural Universe - Some funny laws about the natural universe.
  260. Ponderisms - More funny stuff to ponder.
  261. You Know You're a Nurse if..... - Here are tips that will show that if you are a nurse or not.
  262. The World's Shortest Books - Here is the second list of the World's Shortest books.
  263. The Value of a Drink - Read some funny sayings from some famous people on the subject of alcohol.
  264. Idle Thoughts of a Retiree's Wandering Mind - Read more funny one-liners as pondered by a retiree.


Comment or Share Your Own One Liner

Search