Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In
the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife
said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the
husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
It doesn't matter how often
a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in
the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing: "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door
of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife
A perfect wife is one who
helps the husband with the dishes.
A woman was telling her
friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he
before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A
First Guy (proudly):
"My wife's an angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A man said his credit card
was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his
A couple was having a
discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my
money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't
for your money I wouldn't be here."
A husband said to his wife,
"No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I