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Woman's Little Instruction Book

* If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming too high.

* Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

* The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

* Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

* A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

* If you want a nice man, go for a bald one -- they try harder.

* Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

* A man who can dress himself without looking like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

* Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

* Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

* Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

* Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

* There are a lot of words you can use to describe men-- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you can still use them.

* Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

* Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -  "don't" and "stop" (unless they're used together).

* Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

* If a man appears sexy, caring and smart, give him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

* All men are like chickens with their heads cut off when they see beautiful women pass by.

* If your man appears happy, excited and keeps looking at you all of a sudden, he is probably checking out the women behind you.

* Figuring out men is like trying to make a jigsaw puzzle in a car.  Once you think you have it all put together, you find another piece but you don't know where it goes.


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