is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want,
then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one
woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then
he is really finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man
loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know,
son, I'm still paying for it."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in
some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens
in most countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I
never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.
A happy marriage is a matter of give and
take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
When a newly married man looks happy we
know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating. In the
first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors
After a quarrel, a wife said to her
husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied,
"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it."
It doesn't matter how often a married man
changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds :
"Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same
thing: "You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for
his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband
with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It
is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married
him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an
angel!" Second Guy "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
A man said his credit card was stolen but
he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
A couple was having a discussion about
family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house
wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I
wouldn't be here."
A husband said to his wife, "No, I
don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.