Poor Men

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Poor Men



One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"

He yelled back, "University of North Carolina."

And they say blondes are dumb....
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,

"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have wanted to make love to you really badly.

She said - Well, you succeeded.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor.
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day, a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.

Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.

Whoosh! Immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!
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A PRAYER


Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

AMEN  
 


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