You Are Here: home » funny stories » kid jokes
Kids say the darnest things! We currently have 80+ humorous stories about kids. A description of each kids joke is provided after the link.
Click On A Link Below To Read Our Kid Jokes
Sex Education - A funny story
about a woman giving her daughter a lesson in sex education.
Children Rivalry - A humorous
anecdote about two boys talking about who's father is better.
How To Kill An Eel - A boy hides
while watching his sister and her boyfriend make out and then humorously describes the
episode to his mother.
A Kick In The Head - A funny
story about a mother trying to educate her son not to kick the farm animals by depriving
him of the food the animal provides.
A Taste Of Taxes - A humorous
anecdote about a boy who gets his first taste of paying taxes.
Noisy Neighbors - A funny twist
on a mother telling her son what the noise coming from her bedroom is at night.
In The Closet - A humorous story
about a boy who is placed in the closet whenever his mother is having an affair with a man
who's not his father and how he capitalizes on it.
Third World Encounter - A funny
story about a man and his son who visits the United States from a third world country and
encounters an elevator for the first time.
Learning To Swear - A funny story
about two boys who learn that swearing can get them in big trouble.
Planning Ahead - A humorous
anecdote about a father explaining to his son why there are so many size boxes of condoms.
A Hot Summer Day - A funny story
about how one kid's definition of having fun during a summer day is not necessarily that
of his friends.
Just For You - Not your normal
conversation between a man and his son. A little profane!
Damn Ham - Kids say the darnest
things! Especially when one of the parents initiate it.
The Cost Of Marriage - Young
children are very inquisitive. Read an amusing response by a father who has just been
asked a question from his son.
School - A funny story about a
kid who is never too old to go to school.
Playing Doctor - Little boys
have something that little girls don't. Or do they???
The Birds And The Bees - A
humorous story about a boy who learns about the birds and the bees the hard way.
An $80,000 Mortgage - A funny
story about a boy whose leaves because hi father won't buy him anything because of a high
From The Next Generation To Lead Us
- An amusing anecdote about how one youngster stretches the truth a little when confronted
by his father.
Trained Parrot - Sometimes even
the most simplest of gifts can be taken the wrong way.
Washing The Dog - An amusing
story about a boy who uses a washing machine to wash his dog.
The Big Event - A funny story
about a boy who prepares to have sex for the very first time.
Little Johnny Strikes Again - A
humorous anecdote how little Johnny uses the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Died in Service - A funny story
about a young boy who mis-interprets his pastors remarks about a plaque on the church
Get Treated The Way You Treat Others
- Have you every done anything wrong when you were a kid and your parents gave you
punishment based on your wrong doing. Well, here is a humorous on it.
Two Dollars - An amusing story
about a teacher who gives $2 to the student who can name the most famous person who ever
The Music Teacher - A funny
story about a woman who tries to take a talking metronome through airport security.
What's So Exciting About a Period?
- A student makes an amusing argument about the significance of a period.
Walking The Dog - An amusing
story about a little girl who walks her dog and ends up walking home alone.
Right Age For Cussing - A funny
story about a 5 year boy and his 4 year brother who decide it is time to start swearing.
Goodbye Daddy - An amusing
anecdote about how prayers from a young boy can come true.
Mischieveous Boys - A funny
story about two mischievous brothers.
Learning Adult Words - Kids say
the darnest things. Especially when they are encouraged to use adult words.
Dead Puppies - An amusing story
about a father telling his son why puppies look like they do when they die.
Santa Letters - Amusing
responses to kids letters to Santa.
Not The Smartest Kids - Read a
funny story about three boys plotting against a teacher who gave them bad grades.
The Fire Truck - Read a funny
story about a little girl who makes her own fire truck out of her dog, cat, and wagon.
Things Learned From Children -
Read about humorous things that are learned from children.
Know Your History - Read a funny
story about a Japanese student who attends a school in America only to know more about
American History than the other students.
First Day of School - An amusing
story about the first day of school where the teacher asked their name and what their
father's did for a living.
How Kids Understand the Bible -
Read 24 statements made by children about their interpretation of the Bible. They have not
been edited or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in).
Kids on Love - Here are some
funny responses by children on topics about love.
Bondage S&M Magazine - Read
what happens when a mother catches her son with a bondage S&M magazine.
Kids and Trains - An amusing
story about a kid being punished for using profane language while playing with his train.
Special Occasion Napkins - An
amusing story about toddler who found a new use for those special napkins that your Mom
keeps in the bathroom.
Thinking on Your Feet - A funny
story about a boy from Canada who is quick to think while working at a grocery store in
Do Big Planes Have Little Planes?
- A humorous story about a young boy who asks his mother if big planes have little planes
while he is flying on Northwest airlines.
Martinez - A funny story about
an immigrant boy who seems to know more about American History quotes than his American
Kids Views on Marriage and Relationships
- Humorous takes on how kids feel about dating, relationships, and marriage.
7 Reasons Not To Mess With A Kid
- Seven humorous short stories about children.
Little Johnny - A funny story
about little Johnny telling his mother and father what he saw his dad and Aunt Jane do.
Johnny and Jenny - A humorous
story about Johnny telling Jenny's father that he and Jenny want to get married.
Once There Was A Little Boy ... -
A humorous story about a little boy who pushed the outhouse into the creek and then told
the truth about it.
Little Tommy and Politics - A
funny story about Dan Rather striking up a conversation about politics to the little boy
sitting next to him on an airplane.
New Your Cab Drivers - A
humorous story about a Mother who is forced, by a cab driver, to explain to her son who
those women were that hung at street corners of New York City.
A Valentine To Osama Bin Laden -
A story about a little Jewish girl who wants to send Osama Bin Laden a Valentine's Day
Too Smart for 1st Grade - A
funny story about little Johnny who is too smart for 1st grade.
Daddy How Was I Born? - A
technical, but humorous, response from a father whose son asked him how he was born.
Texas Teacher - A story about a
frustrated teacher's attempt to help put one of her student's boots on at the end of the
7 Reasons Why Not to Mess With a Child
- Read seven funny short stories where a child seems to get the upper hand.
Thinking Fast, By Kids in Grade School
- A number of funny short Question-Answer one-liners between teachers/parents and grade
Grampa, What is Sex? - A funny
story about an elderly man who mistakely answer's his 8 year old granddaughter's question
The Way Children See Things! -
Here are some funny takes from a child's perspective.
Know Your Grandpa - Read a
humorous response from a kid to a policeman about his lost grandpa in a mall.
Little Johnny Strikes Again! -
Read little Johnny's homework assignment to have their parents tell them a story with a
Wild Kid - A funny story about
how one elderly Air Force general on a flight was able to quite down a wild 5-year old
Dead Frog - A funny explanation
from one student to his teacher on how he could tell that a frog he found was dead.
Playing House - A funny story
about a little girl and a little boy playing house.
Deer - A comical story about a
teacher who drew several barnyard animals for her students to name in an attempt to
A Yankee Fan - A funny story
about a teacher, who is a Yankees fan, finds out that all of her students, except for one,
are also Yankee fans.
My Kind of Child - A funny story
about a little Jewish girl who wants to send Osama Bid Laden a Valentines Day card.
Go Girl - An amusing story about
how a teacher attempts to Refute the existence of God.
Out of the Mouths of Grandchildren
- A number of funny stories about kids as told by their grandparents.
All Grandpas, Heed This Warning
- A humorous story about a little girl who went up to a policeman after losing her
grandfather in a shopping mall.
Grandmom's Boyfriend - An
amusing story about a woman who tells her grandson that her boyfriend is her TV.
Grouchy - A humorous story about
a second grader who asks her mom about her ancestory.
The Kitchen Bitch - A funny
story about a boy who is sent to his room for 2 hrs because he used foul language while
playing with his toy train set.
Birth Order of Children -
Amusing differences in attitudes between the first born and third born on various
Comment or Share Your Own One Liner