It was the first day
of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese
businessman, entered the fourth grade in America. The teacher
said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who
said, "Give me liberty, or give me death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki. "Patrick
Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the
people, for the people, shall not perish from this earth?'"
Again, no response except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln,
1863," said Suzuki.
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be
ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its
history than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "Screw
the Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna
puke." The teacher glares and asks, "All right!
Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says, "George
Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck
this!" Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and
shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little
shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Suzuki
frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to
Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher
on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG
trouble!" and Suzuki said, "Arthur Andersen, 2002."