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Performance Reviews


What those words on yearly performance reviews REALLY mean.

1. Outgoing Personality - Always going out of the office.


2. Great Presentation Skills - Able to bullshit.


3. Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone.


4. Work is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date.


5. Active Socially - Drinks a lot, possibly a slut.


6. Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does.


7. Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses.


8. Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision.


9. Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it.


10. Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English.


11. Meticulous Attention to Detail - A nit picker.


12. Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has louder voice.


13. Exceptionally Good Judgement - Lucky.


14. Keen Sense of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes.


15. Career Minded - Back stabber.


16. Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else.


17. Plans for Promotion/Advancement - Buys drinks for all the boys.


18. Of Great Value to the Organization - Gets to work on time.


19. Relaxed Attitude - Sleeps at desk.    



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