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Story of My Life


Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. (Or when you're having a really bad hair day...)

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (In my case, this is known as "The Parking Lot Law" - I park our new car as far away from the building entrance and other cars as I can. There are 35 vacant parking spaces between me and the nearest vehicle. When I return to my car, I can't even open the driver's door because of the banged-up old pickup parked snugly next to me - and there are still 33 unoccupied parking spots all around us.)

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.



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