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Infamous Statements About Marriage
"Men are like a fine wine. They
all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and
keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like
to have dinner with."
"The best way to get most husbands to do something is to
suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."
Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal
partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of
"I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for
marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."
"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a
"When women are depressed, they either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
At a party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they
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