1. IN A
LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes
out.
2. IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT
STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
3. IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back
or further steps will be taken.
4. IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside
down on the draining board.
5. ON A CHURCH DOOR: This
is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by his door. (This door is kept locked because of the
draft. Please use side entrance)
6. OUTSIDE A SECOND-HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why
not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
7. QUICKSAND WARNING:
Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District
Council.
8. NOTICE IN A DRY
CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be
disposed of.
9. IN A HEALTH FOOD SHOP WINDOW: Closed due to illness.
10. SPOTTED IN A SAFARI PARK: Elephants. Please Stay In Your Car
11. SEEN DURING A CONFERENCE: For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a
day care on the first floor.
12. NOTICE IN A FIELD: The
farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.
13. MESSAGE ON A LEAFLET:
If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.
14. ON A REPAIR SHOP DOOR:
We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn't work)
15. SPOTTED IN A TOILET IN A LONDON OFFICE
BLOCK: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. | 
