|
The Darwin awards are
given each year to those who manage to eliminate themselves from the
human gene pool.
The candidates this year are....
Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned
when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on
his daily run.
Sixth Place
Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said
Daniel Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind,
and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday
afternoon when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach, on the outer banks, used their hands and
shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of Woodbridge
, VA , but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200 people looked
on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , CA , as he fell
face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had
placed in his mouth (to keep his hands free) rammed into the base of
his skull as he hit he floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in Selbyville , Del , as he
won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington,
DC appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of
a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:
1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop
specializing inhandguns.
2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police
patrol car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee
before work.
Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up,
and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer and a
clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm GLOCK
17, the clerk with a 50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by customers, several
of whom also drew and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the
scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended
cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23
gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different
weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.
HONOURABLE MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover township, NJ, and his
wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew
up in their car. While driving around at 2AM, the bored couple lit
the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window to see what would
happen, but apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP:
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends in Tacoma,
Washington when one of them said they knew a person who had
bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in the middle of
traffic. The conversation grew more heated and at least 10 men
trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at
the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of
the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was
tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously
survived his fall into the icy salt water and was rescued by two
nearby fishermen. "All I can say" said Bingham, "is
that God was watching out for me onthat night. There's just no other
explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER...
Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed
his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more
than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged- up
pachyderm finally let fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200
pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded on him. "The sheer force of the
elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground
where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the
elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him" said
flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no
one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an
hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he
suffocated." It seems to be just one of those freak accidents
that proves... "Sh*t does happen."
Now this last one is an old story and doe have a picture associated
with it. Click here
to see it! |
