In a trial, a Southern
small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a
grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and
asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a
drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of
them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she
knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt.