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A man who shovelled snow
for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in
Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
 *******
After stopping for
drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20
mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to
Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there
a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.
 ********
An American teenager was
in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds
received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
 ********
A mother took her
daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to
determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen. It only
took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is
pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with
the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never
compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced
the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became
enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you
paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying
attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star
appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that
they would show up again.
********
When his 38-calibre
revolver failed to fire at its intended victim during a hold-up in
Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.
 ********
The chef at a hotel in
Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a
little hopping around, submitted a claim to his company. The
company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The
chef's claim was approved.
********
A passenger in a taxi
tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver
screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over
the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver
said, Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out
of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and
said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could
frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm
sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day
driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years. | 
