The Pentagon recently found it had too many
generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired
straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight
line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any
pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from
the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his
outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the
pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider,
pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted.
and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical
officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did.
The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of
the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are