A man decides to have a face lift for his
birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.
On his way home he pops into the newsagent and buys
a paper. Before leaving he says to the newsagent "I hope you don't mind me asking,
but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35" was the reply.
"I'm actually 47 years old" the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into the Fish & Chip
shop to celebrate. Before leaving, he asks the same question, to which the reply is
"Oh, you look about 29." This makes him feel really good.
Whilst standing at the bus stop he asks an
old woman the same question. She replies "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going.
But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put my hand
down your trousers and play with you for ten minutes I will be able to tell your
Being as there was nobody around the man
thought what the heck and let her slip her hand down his trousers.
Ten minutes later the old lady says
"You are 47 years old."
Stunned the man says, "That was
brilliant. How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind
you in the Fish & Chip shop".