One day a guy dies and winds up in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first
meeting with the devil...
Satan: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell!
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking
man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, all we do is drink.
Whiskey, tequila, beer, soft drinks, you name it! We drink till we throw up, and then we
drink some more. And you don't have to worry
about hangovers because you're dead anyway. Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it! Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all
over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer-no biggie, you're already dead,
remember? Guy: Wow... that's awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Why, yes. As a matter of fact, I do. Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette,
poker, slots, and Kino. If you go bankrupt, you're dead anyway. Guy: Coooool!
What about drugs?
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean... Satan: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of
crack...or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you
want, you're dead, who cares?!?!?! Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay? Guy: No... Satan: Ooooh...You're gonna HATE Fridays.