You never know a man was getting a haircut prior to
a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome?
Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians.
You're crazy to go to Rome.
So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking TWA," was the
reply. "We got a great rate!" "TWA?" exclaimed the barber.
"That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight
attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?" "We'll be at the downtown International
Marriott." "That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are
small, the service is surly and they're overpriced.
So, whatcha doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's
rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see
him. He'll look the size of an ant.
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
You're going to need it."
A month later, the man again came in for
his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the
man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was
overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful,
and I had a beautiful 28 year old stewardess who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel-it was great! They'd
just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential
suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the barber,
"I know you didn't get to see the pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky,
for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that
the pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into his private room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five
minutes later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as he
spoke a few words to me."
"Really?" asked the Barber.
"What'd he say?" He said, "Where'd you get that shitty