Three guys found
themselves in Hell: Tom, Mike, and Jose. A little confused at their present situation,
they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the
ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4-, dirty, and you could smell her even over
The voice of the Devil
was heard, "Tom, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in
bed with this woman!" And Tom was whisked through the door by a group of lesser
demons to his torment.
This understandably shook up the other two,
and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting
example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black
hair, and flies circled her.
The voice of the Devil was heard,
"Mike, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with
this woman!" And Mike, like Tom, was whisked off.
Jose, now alone, felt understandably
anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he
strained to see the figure of... Cindy Crawford.
Delighted, Jose jumped up, taking in the
sight of this beautiful woman, barely dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice
of the Devil saying, "Cindy, you have sinned..."