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Jokes About Engineers
Scene: public executions by guillotine;
Three condemned people are to be executed via the guillotine... First condemned
person steps up, a minister. Switch is pulled. Blade doesn't come down. Minister
cries out: "God knows I am innocent!" He's pardonned.
Second condemned person is a revolutionary agitator. Switch is pulled. Blade doesn't
come down. Guy cries out: "The revolution cannot be stopped!" He's
Third condemned is an engineer. Same deal. He looks up, points up, says, "I
think your problem is that the cable is binding right here..."
The architect, the artist and the engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend
time with the wife or the mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his
wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed
time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The
engineer said "I like both". "Both?" The engineer replied, "Yeah.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will both assume you are spending time with
the other woman. Then you can get into the lab and do something really
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and
better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning." -- Rich Cook
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, Where did you get such
a great bike?" The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along
yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She
threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes
probably wouldn't have fit."
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Top Ten Reasons to Date an Engineer:
Large Earning Potential
Can handle stress and strain in relationships
Know all the dynamics of relative motion
Learn about the benefits of friction and viscosity
FREE body diagrams
Always back up their hard drives
Trained to do it right the first time
Specialized in experimentation
Can go all night with no hint of fatigue