When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old
lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong.
She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning
and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade
soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.
I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a
gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?" She said, "I can't
remember where I live!"
Two elderly ladies had been
friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to
One day they were playing
cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've
been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and
thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For
at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon
do you need to know?"
Two elderly women were eating
breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and
she said, '"Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel
answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?"
She pulled it out and stared
at it. Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where
to find my hearing aid."