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Xmas Groans


What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle

Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
"Rude"olph

What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet

What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet

What is the cow's holiday greeting?
Mooooory Christmas

What does Santa like to eat?
A jolly roll

Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen

What does Santa say when he is sick?
OH OH NO!

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile toe

How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid

What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws

The 3 stages of man:
He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him

What can Santa give away and still keep?
A cold

Why do giraffes get Christmas gifts every year?
They are so good that they'll stick their necks out for anyone

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite

What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon hood

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes

What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet

What does Santa likes to eat?
A jolly roll

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve

What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
 



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