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Old Age Signs


SIGNS OF OLD AGE FUN

1. Sag, You're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 Questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.

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SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him.
3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
4. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
5. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales.

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SIGNS YOU ARE REALLY GETTING OLD

OLD" IS WHEN.....
1. Your sweetie says,  "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer,"Pick one, I can't do both!"
2. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
3. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
4. A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
5. "Getting a little action" means I don't need fiber today.
6. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
7. An  "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee!    



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