| If you introduce your wife as
"mylady@home.wife" If your
spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you can quote scenes from any Monty
Python movie
If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero *** <----- ***
If you stare at an orange juice container
because it says CONCENTRATE
If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
If the only jokes you receive are through
e-mail
If your wrist watch has more computing
power than a 486DX-50
If your idea of good interpersonal
communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
If you look forward to Christmas only to
put together the kids' toys
If you use a CAD package to design your
son's Pine Wood Derby car
If you have used coat hangers and duct tape
for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
If, at Christmas, it goes without saying
that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
If you window shop at Radio Shack
If your ideal evening consists of
fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
If you have "Dilbert" comics
displayed anywhere in your work area
If you carry on a one-hour debate over the
expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
If you are convinced you can build a phazer
out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
If you don't even know where the cover to
your personal computer is
If you have modified your can-opener to be
microprocessor driven
If you know the direction the water swirls
when you flush
If you own "Official Star Trek"
anything
If you have ever taken the back off your TV
just to see what's inside
If a team of you and your co-workers have
set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
If you ever burned down the gymnasium with
your Science Fair project
If you are currently gathering the
components to build your own nuclear reactor
If you own one or more white short-sleeve
dress shirts
If you have never backed-up your hard drive
If you are aware that computers are
actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
If you truly believe aliens are living
among us
If you have ever saved the power cord from
a broken appliance
If you have ever purchased an electronic
appliance "as-is"
If you see a good design and still have to
change it
If the salespeople at Circuit City can't
answer any of your questions
If you still own a slide rule and you know
how to work it
If the thought that a CD could refer to
finance or music never enters your mind
If you own a set of itty-bitty screw
drivers, but you don't remember where they are
If you rotate your screen savers more
frequently than your automobile tires
If you have a functioning home copier
machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
If you have more toys than your kids
If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
If you have introduced your kids by the
wrong name
If you have a habit of destroying things in
order to see how they work
If your I.Q. number is bigger than your
weight
If the microphone or visual aids at a
meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
If you can remember 7 computer passwords
but not your anniversary
If you have memorized the program schedule
for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
If you have ever owned a calculator with no
equal key and know what RPN stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of
your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and
you grew up thinking that was normal
If you know how to take the cover off of
your computer, and what size screw driver to use
If you can type 70 words a minute but can't
read your own handwriting
If people groan at the party when you pick
out the music
If you can't remember where you parked your
car for the 3rd time this week
If you did the sound system for your senior
prom
If your checkbook always balances
If your wristwatch has more buttons than a
telephone
If you have more friends on the Internet
than in real life
If you thought the real heroes of
"Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
If you think that when people around you
yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
If you spend more on your home computer
than your car
If you know what http:/ stands for
If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00
radio
If you have a neatly sorted collection of
old bolts and nuts in your garage
If your three year old son asks why the sky
is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.
Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate. |
