If you introduce your wife as
"mylady@home.wife" If your
spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner If you can quote scenes from any Monty
Python movie If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas If Dilbert is your hero *** <----- *** If you stare at an orange juice container
because it says CONCENTRATE If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes If the only jokes you receive are through
e-mail If your wrist watch has more computing
power than a 486DX-50 If your idea of good interpersonal
communication means getting the decimal point in the right place If you look forward to Christmas only to
put together the kids' toys If you use a CAD package to design your
son's Pine Wood Derby car If you have used coat hangers and duct tape
for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts If, at Christmas, it goes without saying
that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string If you window shop at Radio Shack If your ideal evening consists of
fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies If you have "Dilbert" comics
displayed anywhere in your work area If you carry on a one-hour debate over the
expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run If you are convinced you can build a phazer
out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment If you don't even know where the cover to
your personal computer is If you have modified your can-opener to be
microprocessor driven If you know the direction the water swirls
when you flush If you own "Official Star Trek"
anything If you have ever taken the back off your TV
just to see what's inside If a team of you and your co-workers have
set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception If you ever burned down the gymnasium with
your Science Fair project If you are currently gathering the
components to build your own nuclear reactor If you own one or more white short-sleeve
dress shirts If you have never backed-up your hard drive If you are aware that computers are
actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud If you truly believe aliens are living
among us If you have ever saved the power cord from
a broken appliance If you have ever purchased an electronic
appliance "as-is" If you see a good design and still have to
change it If the salespeople at Circuit City can't
answer any of your questions If you still own a slide rule and you know
how to work it If the thought that a CD could refer to
finance or music never enters your mind If you own a set of itty-bitty screw
drivers, but you don't remember where they are If you rotate your screen savers more
frequently than your automobile tires If you have a functioning home copier
machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal If you have more toys than your kids If you need a checklist to turn on the TV If you have introduced your kids by the
wrong name If you have a habit of destroying things in
order to see how they work If your I.Q. number is bigger than your
weight If the microphone or visual aids at a
meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it If you can remember 7 computer passwords
but not your anniversary If you have memorized the program schedule
for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already If you have ever owned a calculator with no
equal key and know what RPN stands for If your father sat 2 inches in front of
your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and
you grew up thinking that was normal If you know how to take the cover off of
your computer, and what size screw driver to use If you can type 70 words a minute but can't
read your own handwriting If people groan at the party when you pick
out the music If you can't remember where you parked your
car for the 3rd time this week If you did the sound system for your senior
prom If your checkbook always balances If your wristwatch has more buttons than a
telephone If you have more friends on the Internet
than in real life If you thought the real heroes of
"Apollo 13" were the mission controllers If you think that when people around you
yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep If you spend more on your home computer
than your car If you know what http:/ stands for If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00
radio If you have a neatly sorted collection of
old bolts and nuts in your garage If your three year old son asks why the sky
is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.
Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate. |