Jack Benny: "Give me the fresh
air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf... and you can
keep the fresh air and the round of golf."
Lee Trevino: "You can make a lot of money in this game. Just
ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their
Hank Aaron: "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in
baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
Lee Trevino: "I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I
grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced."
Sam Snead: "These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter
over the ball and hit it with the shadow."
Paul Harvey: "Golf is a game in which you yell
"fore," shoot six, and write down five."
Tommy Bolt: "Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four
opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty
Jimmy Demaret: "Golf and sex are about the only things you can
enjoy without being good at."
Jack Lemmon: "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try
picking up the wrong golf ball"
Unknown: "Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man
across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the
John Updike: "Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child.
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent
inability to count past five."
"Silk Stockings" TV Show: "The people who gave us
golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes
and called it music."
P.G. Wodehouse: "The least thing upsets him on the links. He
missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the
Ken Harrelson: "In baseball you hit your home run over the
right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence.
Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second
Chi Chi Rodriguez: "The first time I played the Masters, I was
so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the
happiest 83 of my life."
Chi Chi Rodriguez: "After all these years, it's still
embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time
I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes
later with a ham on rye."
Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume,
temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club
recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards. His caddie said:
"I'd say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir." "A 3- iron
or a wedge?" asked Bolt. "What kind of stupid, #*!~%^*
choice is that?" "Those are the only two clubs you have
left in the your bag, sir." said the caddie.