He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
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A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
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Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe
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He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
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You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.
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I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so
popular?
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Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
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It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and
blamed it on the cost of living.
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Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
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You can't have everything, where would you put it?
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Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the
world's population.
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The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
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It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
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Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
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I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak. |