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1. People who point
at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is
buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask
where the bathroom is?
2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no
3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and
change the channel manually.
4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat
it too." Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you
look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking
after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see
that?" No you idiot, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and
stare at the friggin ceiling up there.
7. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"..... Didn't
really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
8. When something is "new and improved," which is it? If
it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then it must not be the first one!!
9. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you
were going? You should know you idiot, you friggin pulled me over!
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