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Old is When....

"Old" is when...

 ....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"

 ....your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

.....the porn you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis.

 ....a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 ....when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

 ....when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

 ...."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

 ...."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

 .... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee!

 .......Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

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