16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long 15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away? 12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well 11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better 10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight 8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here 7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now 6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him 5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger 4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure 2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer And the Number one song is. . . . . 1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few
