How many honest,
intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
  ~ Both of them.
Why did the man cross the road?
  ~ He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
  ~ They don't have time.
Â
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
  ~ They don't stop and ask for directions.
Â
What do men and sperm have in common?
  ~ They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
Â
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
  ~ He buys two cases of beer.
Â
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
  ~ The bonds mature.
Â
Why are blonde jokes so short?
  ~ So men can remember them.
Â
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
  ~ No one knows, it's never happened.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
  ~ They all already have boyfriends.
Â
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
  ~ A widow.
Â
When does a woman care for a man's company?
  ~ When he owns it.
What are a woman's four favorite animals?
  ~ A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in
       the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
Â
Why are married women heavier than single women?
  ~ Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
        and go to bed. Married women come home,
see Â
     what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Â
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
  ~ His hand caught fire.
Â
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
  ~ Put the remote control between his toes.
Â
What did God say after creating man?
  ~ I must be able to do better than that.
Â
What did God say after creating Eve?
  ~ Practice makes perfect.
Â
How are men and parking spots alike?
  ~ Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostlyÂ
    handicapped or extremely small.
Â
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
  ~ They're married.
Â
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
  ~ God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
  ~ God says: "So she would love you."Â
Comment or Share Your Own One Liner
Funny Joke
in your email every week!
We respect your privacy. You can unsubscribe at any time.