Little johnny asked his grandma how old she was.
Gandma answered, "39 and
holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "and how old would you be
if you let go?"
First Time Ushers:
A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering
plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "don't
pay for me daddy. I'm under five."
The sunday school teacher asked, "now, johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before
"No sir," he replied, "we don't have to. My mom is a good
Climb The Walls:
"Oh, i sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his
mother's side. "now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us."
grandmother was curious. "what trick is that?" she asked.
"I heard him tell
mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit" the little boy answered.
The Mood Ring:
My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When i'm in a good mood it turns green.
When i'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.
The Water Pistol:
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a
water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so
pleased. I turned to mom and said, "i'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we
used to drive you crazy with water guns?"
Mom smiled and then replied....."I
Us air recently introduced a special half fare for wives who accompanied their husbands on
business trips. Expecting valuable testimonials, the P.R.
department sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who had used the special
rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Letters are
still pouring in asking, "what trip?"
Life After Death:
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, sir," the new employee replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything
just fine," the boss went on. "after you left early yesterday to go to your
grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you!