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Wisdom From The West
Does a clean house indicate
that there is a broken computer in it? YES SIR
Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale? THE DAY AFTER PENNEY HAS THIER LAST
ONE DAY SALE!!!!!!!!!!!
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to
eat will have materialized?
On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of
bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?
Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the
purpose of the bath?
Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they
eventually just disappear?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then
apologizes for doing so, why do we say 'Its all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't
we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot'?
Why is it that when you're walking up the stairs and you get to the top you always think
there's still one more step?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you
always manage to knock something else over?
Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to
the road the stuff is placed?
In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained
about the heat?
Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?
Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?
Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck
happened? TIME PASSES SO FAST WHEN YOU ARE HAVING FUN. I GUESS???
If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the
Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren't they just as needy
throughout the rest of the year?
Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a
scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to
be bedridden for weeks?
How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?
Shouldn't all married men forget their mistakes? After all there's no sense in two people
remembering the same things, right?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you!!!!! HOW
DID YOU KNOW MY WIFE TOLD ME THAT? THE LAST FOUR MY WIFE KNOWS BY HEART NOW AFTER ALL THIS
TIME, I HAVE FORGOT MOST OF THE MISTAKES I MADE;
EXCEPT A COUPLE DOZEN OR SO...............
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