You Are Here: home » one liners » things i have learned about texas

Things I Have Learned About Texas

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
There are 10,000 types of spiders.  All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.
Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it will stick you.  If it crawls, it will bite you!
Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.
A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle.  They do get stuck.
The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25, then it stops totally until October 2.
Onced and twiced are words.
Coldbeer is one word.
People actually grow and eat okra.
Green grass DOES burn.
When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog.  City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.
The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.
When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see doctor.
Fix-in-to is one word.
 A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the cows, or swimming .
There ain't no such thing as"lunch".  There is only dinner and then there's supper.
Sweetened ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two.
Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

Comment or Share Your Own One Liner

    | privacy