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New Computer Viruses
The Al Gore Virus - Causes
your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone
about what it did.
The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to
re-stabilize around 200 Mb.
The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files.
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files.
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
AND MY FAVORITE ......
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . . . then
discards it through Windows.
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