|Subject: Prospective Employee
To: All Managers
guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel.
Take the prospective employees you are
trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone
for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they
If they have taken the table apart in that
time, put them in Engineering.
If they are counting the butts in the
ashtray, assign them to Finance.
If they are screaming and waving their
arms, send them off to Manufacturing.
If they are talking to the chairs,
Personnel is a good spot for them.
If they are sleeping, they are Management
If they are writing up the experience, send
them to Tech Pubs.
If they don't even look up when you enter
the room, assign them to Security.
If they try to tell you it's not as bad as
it looks, send them to Marketing.
And if they have left early, put them in