We know that the current state of
affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the
military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are
a few of the areas we would like your assistance:
1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the
National Anthem... kick their ass.
2) When you witness firsthand someone burning the American Flag in protest... kick
3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect
to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and
explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second.
Enlighten them on the many
sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while
a Disabled Veteran kicks their ass.
4) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing camouflage,
telling others that you used to be "Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe
memorabilia, might have been okay if you were still seven. Now, it will only make
you look stupid and get your ass kicked.
5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you fly a
jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass
kicking (children are exempt).
6) If you witness someone calling the U.S. Coast Guard nonmilitary, inform them of
their mistake... and kick their ass.
7) Roseanne Barr's singing of the National Anthem is not a blooper... it was a disgrace
and disrespectful. Laugh, and sooner or later your ass will be kicked.
8) Next time Old Glory goes by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to
her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or
veteran lucky enough to be carrying her... of course, failure to do either of those
could earn you a severe ass kicking.
9) What Jane Fonda did during the Vietnam War makes her the enemy. Just mention her
nomination for "Woman of the Year" and get your ass kicked.
10) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran. We are Americans
and we all bleed the same regardless of our party affiliation. The President is our
Commander in Chief regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what
happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet.
All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call
upon the military to go straighten it out. The military member might direct you to
Oliver North. (I can see him kicking your ass already.)
11) "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me. If she did, she
would most likely be a vet and, therefore, could kick your ass!
12) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not communists, so stop saying "Let's go kill those
Commie's!!!" And stop asking us where he is!!!! Crystal balls are not standard
issue in the military. That reminds me ... if you see anyone calling those
damn psychic phone numbers; let me know, so I can go kick their ass.
13) Flyboy (Air Force), Jar Head (Marines), Grunt (Army), Squid (Navy), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you
have not earned the right to use them. Doing so will get your ass kicked.
14) Last but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our
troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy
with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of sailors and
troops far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our
military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get
its ass kicked.
- "It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.
- It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
- It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
- It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is
draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag."
(Authored by:) Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, Sergeant, USMC (Please pass this on so I
won't have to kick your ass!)