|Dear Sirs: |
year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began
making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to
wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband
1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and
Opera Night 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as Poker Night 1.3,
SaturdayFootball 5.0, Golf 2.4 and ClutterEverywhere 4.5. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs,
and invariably crashes the system. Under no circumstances will it run DiaperChanging
14.1or HouseCleaning 2.6. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix Husband 1.0, but this all
purpose utility is of limited effectiveness. Can you help please!!!!
This is a very common problem women complain about, but is mostly due to a primary
misconception. Many people upgrade from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 with no idea that
Boyfriend 5.0 is merely an ENTERTAINMENT package. However, Husband 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and was designed by its creator to run as few applications as possible. Further,
you cannot purge Husband 1.0 and return to Boyfriend 5.0, because Husband 1.0 is not
designed to do this. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Boyfriend
5.0 to emulate Husband 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete,
or purge the program files from the system, once installed.
Any new program files can only be installed once per year, as Husband 1.0 has severely
limited memory. Error messages are common, and a normal part of Husband 1.0 In desperation
to play some of their "old time" favorite applications, or to get new
applications to work, some women have tried to install Boyfriend 6.0, or Husband 2.0.
However, these women end up with more problems than encountered with Husband 1.0. Look in
your manual under "Warnings Divorce/Child Support". You will notice that this
program runs very poorly, and comes bundled with HeartBreak 1.3. I recommend you keep
Husband 1.0, and just learn the quirks of this strange and illogical system.
Having Husband 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section
regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). This is a wonderful feature of Husband 1.0,
secretly installed by the parent company as an integral part of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 must assume ALL responsibility for ALL faults and problems, regardless of the
root cause. To activate this great feature enter the command "C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED
ME" Sometimes Tears 6.2 must be run simultaneously while entering the command.
Husband 1.0 should then run the applications Apologize 12.3 and Flowers/Chocolates 7.8.
Avoid excessive use of this feature. Overuse can create additional and more serious GPFs,
and ultimately YOU may have to give a "C:\APOLOGIZE" command before the system
will return to normal operations. Overuse can also cause Husband 1.0 to default to
GrumpySilence 2.5, or worse yet, Beer 6.0 Beer 6.0 is a very bad program that causes
Husband 1.0 to create FatBelly files and SnoringLoudly wave files that are very hard to
delete. Save your- self some trouble by following this tech tip.
Just remember! The system will run smoothly, and take the blame for all GPFs, but because
of this fine feature it can only intermittently run all the applications Boyfriend 5.0
ran. Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. Consider buying additional soft-ware to improve performance. I
personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Patience 10.1. Used in conjunction,
these utilities can really help keep Husband 1.0 running smoothly.
After several years of use, Husband 1.0 will become familiar and you will find many
valuable embedded features such as FixesBroken Things 2.1, Snuggling 4.2 and BestFriend
A final word of caution! Do NOT, under any circumstances, install MotherInLaw 1.0. This is
not a supported application, and will cause selective shut down of the operating system.
Husband 1.0 will run only Fishing 9.4 and Hunting 5.2 until MotherInLaw 1.0 is
I hope these notes have helped. Thank you for choosing to install Husband 1.0 and we here
at Tech Support wish you the best of luck in coming years. We trust you will learn to
fully enjoy this product!"