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Ode To The Pillsbury Doughboy
It is with the saddest heart I pass on the
Please join me in remembering a great icon - the veteran Pillsbury spokesman. The
Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated
pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The gravesite was piled high with flours. As long-time friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the
eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He
was not considered a very "smart"cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was
considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again,
but alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough;
plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
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