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Best Fruit Cake Ever
1 or 2 quarts Whiskey
1 cup sugar
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup of nuts
1 oz of lemon juice
Before you start, sample the
whiskey to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a
large mising bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the whiskey again as it must be just
right. To be sure whiskey is of the highest quality, pour one level cup into a glass
and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat.
With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp. of
thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the siskey is of the finest
quality. Cry another cup.
Open the second quart is necessary. Add the 2 arge eggs, 2 cups dried fruit and beat
till high. If druit gest stuck in the beaters, juse pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the whiskey again, checking for toxscisticity.
Next sift 3 cups of the salt
or anything: it really doesn't matter. Sample the whiskey. Sift 1/2 pint lemon
Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of the brown thugar,
or whatever color you can find and wix mel.
Grease oven and turn cake to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into the coven and
bake. Check whiskey again, and go to bed.
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