How do crazy people go through the forest?
 They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
 Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos get from
sitting on the ice too long?
 Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call
each other?
 Cell phones.
What do you call a boomerang
that doesn't work?
 A stick.
What do you call cheese that
isn't yours?
 Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa's
helpers?
 Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull
fighters in quicksand?
 Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a
pampered cow?
 Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross
a snowman with a vampire?
 Frostbite.
What has four legs, is big,
green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
 A pool table.
What is a zebra?
 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What lies at the bottom of the
ocean and twitches?
 A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between
an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
 The taste.
What's the difference between
roast beef and pea soup?
 Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a no legged
dog?
 Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool
from?
 Ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Johnsons
in the phone book?
 They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when
they play?
 They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas have big
nostrils?
 Because they have big fingers. |
