Subject: Request For A Raise
To: Manager I, the penis, hereby
request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labor
* I work at great depths
* I work head first
* I do not get weekends off or public holidays
* I work in a damp environment
* I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties
* I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
* I work in high temperatures
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Subject: Response To Your Request For A Raise
To: Employee
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the
management rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
* You do not always follow management's orders
* You do not stay in your allocated position and often
visit other areas
* You take a lot of non-rostered breaks
* You do not take initiative -- you need to be
pressured and stimulated in order to start working
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift
* You don't always observe H&S measures, such as
wearing the correct
protective outfits
* You don't wait till pension age before retiring
* You don't like working double shifts
* You sometimes leave your allocated position before
you have completed the day's work
* And if that were not all, you have been seen
constantly entering and leaving the work place
carrying 2 suspicious looking bags. |
