"Old" is when... Â ....your sweetie says, "Lets go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" Â ....your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. .....the porn you bring home is "Debby Does Dialysis. Â ....a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. .....you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. Â ....you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. Â ....when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. Â ....when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. Â ...."getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today. Â ...."getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. Â .... an "all nighter" means not getting up to pee! Â .......Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?