1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I work hard
because millions on welfare depend on me!
3.. Some people
are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to
have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take
life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just
jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7.. Beauty is
in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. I'm not a
complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
9.. Out of my
mind. Back in five minutes.
10.. NyQuil,
the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
11.. God must
love stupid people; He made so many.
12.. The gene
pool could use a little chlorine.
13..
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
14.. Ever stop
to think, and forget to start again?
15.. Being
"over the hill" is much better than being under it!
16.. Wrinkled
Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
17..
Procrastinate Now!
18.. I Have a
Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
19.. A hangover
is the wrath of grapes.
20.. Stupidity
is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
21.. The
trouble with life is there's no background music.
22.. The
original point and click tool was a Smith and Wesson. |
