Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being
sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm
really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America,
yet you also created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done
before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "well,
what's the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm
willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where
should I go first?" "I'll leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said
Bill, "Let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean,
sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the
water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature perfect. He was
very pleased.
"This is great!"
he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in
the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as
enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm.
I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter. "Fine," retorted St. Peter,
"as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter
decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got
there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves,
being burned and tortured by demons. "How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "this is
awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is
happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the
scantily-clad women playing in the water?!???
"That was a
demo," replied St. Peter. |