Due to increasing products
liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again
that you love them.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them
at four in the morning.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex
without spitting.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking
than most people.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may cause pregnancy.Â
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: The consumption of
alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: the crumsumpten of
alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode. |