RIVER WALK There's this blonde out for a walk. She
comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she
shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river
then down the river then shouts back, "You are on the other side." -------------------------------
KNITTING A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULLOVER!" "NO," the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
-------------------------------
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American,
and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in
space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde
said, "So what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the
American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you
idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're
not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
-------------------------------
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a
blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a
huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
-------------------------------
FINAL EXAM The blonde reported for her
university final examination that consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes
her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then
in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin
and marking the answer sheet "Yes" for Heads and "No" for Tails.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and
sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I
finished the exam in half an hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
-------------------------------
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a
child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind
a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain
brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home. The
next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big
oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note...
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"
