Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover"
or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to
me. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to
have a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too." Then I said,
"but this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,
"You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must
have been quite a kid!
When I got married and went on
my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my
wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex.
I said, "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said,
One day I entered Sex in a
contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me
why I was just standing there, looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the
contest. He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't
understand," I said, "I had hoped to have sex on T.V." He called me a
When my wife and I separated,
we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex
before I was married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after
I was married, Sex left me. He said "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again.
I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are
you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I am looking for
My case comes up Friday.